Nicole vs. Life
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
