I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
