Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
