he wants to bone in the snuggie
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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