You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
