Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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