hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
