My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Someone came in the potted fern
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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