Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
