I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
