no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
