Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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