I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
