I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
