Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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