We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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