dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
