I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
