couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just sucked dick on a ferry
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize