I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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