I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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