Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
