one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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