GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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