Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
