I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
