I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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