So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
