return my video game
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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