i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
