Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
