There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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