I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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