i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
