apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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