It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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