I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
