I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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