Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize