Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
