I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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