took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
