She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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