I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
