i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
