i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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