with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
