you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
