Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
