next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
