Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
