Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
